


To Tell the Truth

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Meant to Be [10]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not my destiny…I don’t care how corny that sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Tell the Truth

“Hey.”

Sam looked up at his wife as she poked her head out of the screen door. “Hey there.”

“Did you want to be alone?” Jessie asked.

“When I can be with you? That’s not a tough decision.”

“Well, I made you some cocoa, so I thought…”

“That sounds good baby. C'mere.”

Jessie came out on the porch with the two steaming mugs of cocoa. She put Sam’s on the table beside him, put hers on the other table, and then curled up on the glider beside him. It was late April and spring still hadn't quite sprung in New Hampshire. Nights could get chilly, and this was one of them. It was raining, it had been raining; three inches was expected by the time it was over. Newberry was a bit waterlogged. Everyone was ready for May flowers.

Sam wrapped his arms around his wife. She was wearing his Manchester 5K sweatshirt and smelled of a wonderful combination of the two of them. He’d come outside after dinner when Desi called. Jessie had been off-kilter for the past few days and Sam wanted to talk to her about it but couldn’t quite find the words. So he gave her some time alone with her best friend and he went out for some air. He knew he would eventually get to the bottom of what was going on but he didn’t like to push. Jessie shared with him, Sam knew that, and she would share again.

“What's on your mind?” She asked, her cheek resting on his shoulder. She loved being in his arms; it was such a comforting place.

“I'm thinking about renovations. Kyle and I had lunch over at The Elbow this afternoon and we were chatting about it. He had some really good ideas so I think this is going to be a good project. He drew up some plans and we’re gonna finalize things in the next couple of weeks. Morgan is taking the first week in June to help so I'm just praying it stops raining by then. I'm gonna grab a few boys from the church to help out with the dump.”

“What dump?”

“Taking out the old stuff, ripping up carpets; that kind of thing. They could use some hard work. It'll be a good experience for them. I'm sure by then you'll know what colors you want, what furniture, and things like that.”

“I admit to reading lots of home magazines.” Jessie replied. “I don’t want it to look like something out of a magazine though. Desi says I can get everything I want at IKEA and Target; she’s right. I want durable, built to last things.”

“Yeah, when we start filling this house with kids we don’t want them to break everything.”

Sam laughed but Jessie didn’t. He held her closer, kissing her forehead.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked.

“Nope.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been awful quiet lately, baby. What's wrong?”

“I just have so many things on my mind.” She said. “I'm sorry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes, but I'm still working everything out.”

“We can start with the small stuff.” Sam said. “Tell me the first thing that pops into your head.”

“I got a management degree in college.” Jessie replied.

“I know.”

“I did it so I could know everything I needed to know about running a business.”

“And you do a great job with the diner. You’ve done your dad really proud, Jess; and I'm proud of you too.”

“The thing is…I don’t know if that’s what I want.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. “Are you thinking about going back to school? Do you want another degree?”

“I don’t think I could make it back in school. Sometimes I'm sure school is for the young. Plus handling a more than full time job, marriage, and school would be too much.”

“OK.”

They were quiet for a while. Sam just listened to the rain falling all around them. He took his mug of cocoa and sipped. It was good, everything she made was good.

“There’s something I need to tell you Sam.” She said.

“Alright.”

“This will be the first time I'm saying it out loud and I'm a little scared.”

“I'm a little scared too. Should I brace myself?” his stomach dropped.

Sam had no idea what was coming and he didn’t like that at all. His mind raced, tried to think of things he might have missed or dismissed. All he could imagine was that Jessie was going to say that she didn’t love him and never had. But that was improbable. Right?

Of course she loved him; she told him so everyday. She showed him everyday. Maybe this wasn’t about him at all…it could be something else. But what? Oh God, was Jessie sick? Was she very sick? He needed her to tell him before his head exploded from wondering.

“I don’t think I want to spend the rest of my life running my Dad’s diner. In fact, I know I don’t.”

Sam was stunned. OK, that wasn’t what he was expecting. It was surely better than asking for a divorce or telling him she was dying of some horrible disease. He sat up some, causing his wife to move out of his arms. She went for her cocoa, wrapping both hands around the warm mug.

“Are you speechless?” Jessie asked.

“Well…yes. But I was losing my mind thinking that it was a problem we couldn’t solve. Not that this isn’t something serious and we’re going to talk about it but…”

“I scared you.” She smiled a bit. “I'm sorry, honey. That wasn’t my intent. I've just been so worried about this and haven’t known what to do.”

“How long has it been on your mind?” Sam asked.

“I've tried to keep it off my mind for the last few months. When we got married I was so excited; all I cared about was being Mrs. Sam Kassmeyer. I wanted to just be happy and I was happy. I am happy, Sam. Then Christmas came and that thing with Haley and it just made me realize there are things in my life I need to get a handle on, put a stop to, and take under advisement. The happier we are, and I am so happy, the more I realize there are things that I'm not happy about.”

“You don’t like running the diner?”

“I want to be there for my dad.”

“That’s not what I asked, baby. You know you can tell me anything. You can use any language you want and be as honest as possible. All I'm gonna do is love you. I will always love you.”

“It doesn’t make me happy anymore. It’s not my destiny…I don’t care how corny that sounds. Dad is still capable of running it and if he wanted to retire we have two great managers and Zoë is getting better everyday. Some days I just want to give the keys to Sarah and run away. Then I feel as if we both let him down. My dad doesn’t deserve that.”

“You both let him down?” Sam asked. “I don’t understand.”

“He's never going to get over the embarrassment of Haley leaving Hotch and running off with Steve. The talk was so brutal after it all happened. For years, the rich folks gossiped that a Brooks girl wasn’t good enough for a Hotchner. Then when it happened, they got to gloat that they had been right all along.”

“Then he should be proud of you. You just married poor Sam Kassmeyer with the dead mother.”

“Don’t you say that.” Jessie snapped.

“Hey, hey,” Sam caressed her face. “I'm just saying what they would. I don’t think that about myself. I know I'm the luckiest man in Newberry. Actually, I'm he luckiest guy in the universe. Not that I like to brag.”

Jessie smiled, leaning to kiss his lips.

“I don’t know what to do.” She whispered.

“What do you want to do, Jessie?”

“I want to be happy in what I do everyday. I think I've been pretending for so long. When you broke through that barrier, Sam, when you gave me your heart…I can't pretend anymore. I know now that the good stuff can be real.”

She sighed when Sam pulled her to him again. When she rubbed his stomach he let out a happy hum.

“So, if you could do whatever you wanted, money was no object, what would it be?” he asked. “Just tell me what your heart’s content is.”

“Well, technically money isn’t an object. I heard a rumor that you're loaded.”

“Where did you hear that? It’s not true you know; I got nothing.”

Jessie giggled, cuddling closer.

“Tell me your heart’s desire, Jess.”

“I don't know.”

“You have no idea?” Sam asked.

“I've been writing.” She replied.

“How long have you been writing?”

“My whole life really. I've mostly written short stories and lately I think they're really good. I've never shown them to a soul but Desi…she likes them. She keeps encouraging me to try to get them some attention. But c'mon, she’s my best friend. Best friends are supposed to love everything you do.”

“They are? Hotch tells me that I suck all the time.”

“No he doesn’t.” Jessie laughed.

“Is it possible I could read something you've written sometime?”

“You think you might want to?”

“Of course I do, baby. What genre do you write in?”

Sam loved suspense thrillers and he loved science fiction as well. He also read non-fiction like biographies, social commentary, and history books. Sam Kassmeyer was a book nerd and everyone knew it. He was always reading two or three at a time. There wasn’t much time these days but he had Joe Biden’s autobiography on his nightstand. He also had a book of Andy Rooney’s _60 Minutes_ pieces, _Faust_ , _Franny and Zooey_ , _Claudius the God_ , and the latest Stuart Woods mystery.

“I just write about human relationships. I love writing about friendship, love, and family. The latest thing I'm working on revolves around a small town cop finding love with a mysterious woman who might be in a serial killer’s crosshairs.”

“Seriously?” Sam looked at her.

“Mmm hmm. It just keeps going and going in my imagination. Desi thinks I might have a novel on my hands.”

“That’s amazing, Jess. I'm really excited to read something you wrote now. I mean, I was always excited but…I didn’t know you had this talent.”

“I guess I've been trying to talk myself out of it for so long because I knew my dad wanted me to take over the diner. And when Haley married Aaron and they wanted to start a family, I was all he had left. I gave up my dream, or what I thought could be my dream, for my family. I don’t want to do that anymore. We can still own the diner without my having to run the day to day operations.”

“You certainly can. Jess, if you want to be a writer then you know you have 150% of my support. You can do it; you can do anything you set your mind to. Take a year off; write the next great suspense thriller.”

“Well I don’t know if I can do that.” She said.

“You won't know until you try. You won't be doing it alone…you'll always have my love. Always, always, always.”

“I love you so much.” Jessie put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“I love you too, Jessie Kassmeyer; I love you heart and sternum.”

She wasn’t sure that this was going to go over very well. She had always been Daddy’s little girl and the idea of disappointing him broke Jessie’s heart. While she wanted her parents to be happy, she knew that she had to be as well. It wasn’t fair to her to keep living their dreams while hers blew away in the wind. Despite what her best friend said she wasn’t sure she was a good writer.

Still, she wanted to try. Lately words had just been everywhere. In the shower, at the grocery store, cuddling with her husband…Jessie’s brain was abuzz. She was writing them all down in various notebooks, looking back later at mostly coherent ideas. Knowing that Sam supported her was very important.

Knowing he would give her time to do what she needed to, that he could because of his inheritance, meant so much. She was nearly 34 years old so there wasn’t much time left to do whatever she pleased. Soon they would start a family and Jessie would have other obligations to put ahead of her own musings.

It was getting chilly outside so they grabbed their mugs of cocoa and moved the party inside. In the den they just cuddled on the couch, enjoying just being close to one another. There wasn’t much more to say. Jessie had finally said it aloud. Sam listened and loved her, just as she knew he would even if she was afraid to express herself.

She needed to talk to her father. That wasn’t going to be as easy. She’d give it some more time; try to find the right moment. Life was moving at a rapid pace and Jessie tried to slow it down so she could enjoy every second. There was more world out there for her to explore, experience, and write about. With Sam by her side, now was the time to do it.

***

  



End file.
